As I was stretching today after my run I saw a disc wheel sitting in my parents bedroom, and in that moment I realized how much I miss racing. A perfectly good disc wheel, and nowhere to use it. I know for a fact that I’m not the only one who has had a “disc wheel” moment in their life as I’ve read the numerous post on MN tri news about athletes wishing that they could get even one race in this season. So what are we training for? Is it to keep ourselves busy? Or is it to keep ourselves sane while we deal with our lives being turned upside down? These reasons are all justified, but the reason I’m training is because of my hope for at least one race this year. 
I had my summer planned to a T. Fun activities, training, and work on the weekdays and races on the weekend. I had been working all winter on the bike trainer and I was so excited to see my hard work pay off. Racing on the weekends was going to be my way of seeing how far I’ve come and what I still need to improve on. Unfortunately all of these plans and preparations came to an abrupt halt. Hearing that my favorite sports season was going to be shortened was about as fun as stubbing my toe. Memories, people, and experiences were all canceled. Because I’m a control freak, I hated the fact that I had no control over the situation right in front of me. My plans of racing early in the season took a 180 just like the rest of my fellow athletes, and I was trying to figure out what the point was in training anymore.
The light bulb came on when I saw that a few races in July and August were still a possibility. Even though I wouldn’t be able to fit in the 10 races that our family somehow squeezes into our schedule, I would at least be able to have a few to focus on. When I took I step back I saw the advantages of only doing a small amount of races this year. I could really focus my attention on my training for the first half of the summer, and then I could put everything I had into each race that I would get compete in. I’m still hoping for the 10 races next year, but even one race would be exciting in 2020. 
So now I’m taking time to train for the races that seem so far away. I struggle to find the joy in training when I have no way of competing. The competition is what gives me my work ethic and drive to do better. This has truly been a test to see how dedicated I am to the sport that I care so much about. Keeping my head up and my legs moving is what I need to maintain an attitude that allows me to give 110% during my workouts right now.
 I still miss racing even though I have goals to work towards right now, but I guess it’s a sign that I still love triathlons just as much as I used to. For right now I’m going to keep those late season races in the back of my head while I’m sweating buckets on the bike, and I’m going to keep my optimism going for the next couple of months. I know that we are all struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m hoping to see that little ray of sunshine soon.